The Past.

how I wish I could just forget everything that has happened and just go back to living those lies surrounded by people that thought they knew me, at least that way I'd be happy again, or at least think I was happy.

A Prefect Way To Ruin A Day

Why does she find the need to tell me these things that I wish not to hear. It's like a cold embrace lifting me up by the collar and finding it's way into my links and then my spine, only to bring me down and throw spikes into head, filling it with a trembling pain that covers my body. What am I to do?

Crawling Skin

The tears burn my eyes as I hold them back, the sickness welling up inside me, up my throat and holding heavy in the pit of my stomach and I can't think straight with this flash of heat covering my body

A Start

Tonight has left me, like most nights, wondering why. Tonight a certain someone, let's call them Mrs. O, messaged me asking if I wanted to meet up with her and a couple of friends, one of whom I wanted to see and would of liked to know more of, of course when I got there the one i wanted to see was not there like Mrs. O promised, but this mattered little to me as i wanted to see them anyway as I have been trying to get out more and thought that even if she wasn't there i could at least use the time to learn to socialize more and get out there, but as i hoped it wouldn't it went differently and i was left disappointed and wondering why i even bothered with them in the first place. You see when i first met these people i thought they were different to the normal 'miscreants' that usually dwell around here and were like me in that they were different, somebody i could trust i guess, but of course after spending a while with them my suspicion of them grows a little bit more of them being untrustworthy, but when i think of the one i want to be with, let's call her The Interest, she seems so different to them i can't understand why she tails them sometimes, but tonight made me think differently and i seemed to hate myself for it, anyway the story behind that is a couple of nights ago I went to the local shopping center for some light reading and instead was called to the movies by Mrs. O requesting i see a movie with them as The Interest was lonely and wanted me there, seeing as i had nothing to do I thought it might of been a fun thing to do and seeing The Interest would of made it all the better, when I got there however there were two males i had not met before and thought they were not going to be a problem, but tonight when i went out with them again the two males were there but The interest was not and although it was an awkward night what made me wonder was when we came to a restaurant and met one of the males friends and though their conversion i found out that the reason The Interest was 'lonely' that night was because the new male didn't show up to the cinemas and that left an empty seat to be filled by me, which explains a lot for me at least. - F